Tuesday, 11 August 2015
I was on my way to Heartlands Hospital in Birmingham to have my cancer carrying kidney removed and put the car radio on to take my mind off 'things'. Thorn In My Side by Annie Lennox started playing which made me smile as it was so appropriate considering my 'predicament'.
At that time the tumor was a thorn in my side, it took my kidney and subsequently left me in poor health for some time. After two years it has become apparent that damage to my back may be irreparable and the road to recovery has taken far longer than I had anticipated.
Before kidney cancer I ran a business Missfit Creations and life was a whirl of fashion shows, exhibitions and photoshoots which centred around my designs and sales. I was a confident, outgoing business owner who would walk the walk as far as the fashionista image went. After having multicoloured dreads for several years I had diversified to a pink mohican by the time I was suddenly taken ill.
I can't remember when it all changed because quite soon after my surgery and despite feelings of uncertainty I slipped back into the same routine. During my hospitalisation and recovery I was steadfast in my resolve that things would change most particularly my business. However, I returned to Missfit and the associations that it held and this was what would eventually become the real Thorn In My Side.
No matter how I tried, I couldn't shake the association of my business with the cancer that had changed my life. I just couldn't figure it out, I didn't fit the kidney cancer patient description, the check list was unticked in my case, why me? What if my lifestyle was the problem and that was predominantly my business.
Just a few weeks ago (I can't remember the exact date) I knew it was over. I made all the necessary calls needed and closed my business for good, Missfit Creations was no more. I thought I'd feel sadness, disappointment but nothing, just relief.
The website and logo remain in place until further notice as work on a new business is currently underway so my online presence will change shortly.
What I do still have is the remainder of my stock which all has to go asap. I could sell it all individually (and may still have to if it doesn't sell as whole stock...) but I have absolutely no incentive any more. So my aim is to sell the stock and donate 10% of the sale to The James Whale Fund for Kidney Cancer who have given me the support and advice I most needed when I needed it.
Cancer for me hasn't just been about surgery, it's not only the disease it has been the psychological aftermath. You don't bargain on the confidence cancer knocks out of you and in my case this impacted on my business.
I don't 'rock' a certain look anymore, the dreads and the mohawk have gone along with the outrageous clothes and all round 'out there' online image. I need to start again rather than pick up where I left off.
First though the issue of 200 items of vintage clothing & handmade designs...
10% of the sale will go to the James Whale Fund For Kidney Cancer